About Me
“The Moment I Chose Myself”
She had it all: an executive role, a new Mercedes, her own apartment. I had money too, working as a freelance business analyst. From the outside, we looked like a power couple. Our Facebook pages were full of beautiful photos. We looked happy. On the photos… But inside, I was unraveling. Our relationship was intense, codependent, and deeply unhealthy. She had traits of narcissism and borderline personality. I was constantly torn between feeling entrapped and wanting to run. I proposed to her. Twice. She said yes both times. But I couldn’t go through with it. I was terrified of locking myself into something that was destroying me. And since “because I was a man” I was feeling shame for my indecisiveness.
Meanwhile, my 20-year career in tech had lost its meaning. I was just trading time for money.
My work didn’t fulfill me anymore — just drained me. But this wasn’t new. I’d already questioned my path more than once:
- In 2007, after 7 years as a web developer.
- In 2014, just one year into freelancing as a business analyst.
I made good money, but it felt empty. I wasn’t treating my freelance work as a business. I wasn’t growing. I was drifting.
Each time, I wondered: Is this really it? What else could I do that I would enjoy doing? But I got no clear answers. So I stayed.
Then in 2019, everything collapsed.
I became severely ill. One morning I woke up and literally couldn’t move my legs. I was so fed up with my employer, so burned out, I couldn’t even push myself to go to the office. Ironically, I was working alone in a company-rented office while the rest of the team was remote. The isolation mirrored everything inside me — disconnection, fatigue, silence.
By the time I had lost it all — my health, money, identity, relationship, sense of purpose. At 41, I felt like I was 141. I couldn’t dance salsa anymore. I couldn’t carry a water can. I couldn’t feel joy.
But even then, something inside whispered:
“There’s more. And it begins with you.”
That whisper became a path. Not a glamorous one. A real one. Of questioning, reclaiming, realigning. Of rediscovering who I was before I twisted myself to fit someone else’s mold.
Then COVID hit. In March 2020, I left rainy Holland — where I’d lived as an expat for 20 years — and moved back to my parents’ home in Moscow.
I gave myself permission to rest. To stop. To ask:
“What if I chose a path that felt like mine?”
At the time, I was already 4 months into a coaching training accredited by the International Coaching Federation (ICF). I loved it. I felt alive.
Later, I volunteered as an HR Consultant & Tenant Experience Analyst in my parents’ building. That, too, lit me up.
In 2021, I tried on different roles. Sales Rep at a startup — left after 4 months; I couldn’t sell something I didn’t care about. A tiny online shoe business for men with large feet — loved it, but closed it when the war started in 2022.
Also in 2021 I joined a British GreenTech startup as COO/Delivery Manager. I loved that too.
Besides my coaching practice, I also run Ignite Ops – my small agency where I help early stage startup founders streamline operations, reclaim time & get closer to product-market fit.
These years taught me that transformation isn’t always loud. Sometimes, it’s the quiet shift of finally choosing yourself.
That’s why I do this work: to help others listen to their inner call — not the noise of expectations — AND actually act on it.
I’ve burned down the life that no longer fit. I’ve rebuilt, step by step, into something true. Actually, still re-building.
I help people 35+ who are standing at that similar threshold — career change, identity shift or relationships challenges.
You won’t get formulas. I walk with you through the fire and uncertainties — because I know what it means to burn it all down and still choose to begin again. But you may not need these extremes…
I’m not here to fix you. I’m here to walk with you as you find your way home – to You.